Hi everybody,
Let me reintroduce myself to everyone
today. Let me begin with what I used to be. I have almost forgotten what I was
like before, still digging the walls of the memories I could recollect that I used
to be a talkative girl with lot of energy. I had newly joined a start-up
company as a content writer- my dream job. Found good people ( I should say “better”
) and lot of fun. I gave 100% to my work and I was known among my colleagues by
my readiness for any challenge at work. I had a broken heart back then and
missed home terribly. But I was me. Leaving some bad, gross memories and my
dear family behind I joined my work with new hopes. I watched the company grow
and I felt the love of my colleagues. My office became like home to me. Be it
my boss or my colleagues, everybody was there for me. They still are….
Company grew and we had this new head of
ops. He was supposed to manage all the projects and make sure that they are
working fine. I was on leave for few days. I had been visiting office only for
lunch. I took leave only because I needed break from work and didn't want to
get paid for doing “bad work” out of stress. After my leave when I joined, he
was first to come over to me and say hi. He asked me about my interests and
where I am from and my areas of interest. He talked about the new projects
coming up and if I am interested in healthcare. I found him friendly and was
glad that somebody found me responsible enough for such huge project.
1st thing that bothered me were
the meetings. They used to be long ones. 1 hour… 1.5 hour….longest one was 2
hour long. We used to have discussions in which he used to repeat the same old
points again n again and end of every sentence he used to smirk and say “you’re
understanding right?” while looking at my assets. Slowly it became very common
for him to look at the boobs of almost every woman in the office. We tried
checking if it’s some physical issue he has but realized it was a special issue
meant only for girls.
Meanwhile my workload got immense. I had to
stay back till 8 and one day during a work conversation I found his hands
moving to close to me. He was moving them in the air while explaining me some
shit and they came close to me. I panicked. May be he saw that he smiled n the
conversation ended. I kept suffering. He started harassing me and humiliating
me in front of others.Infront of designers, or the coders. He used to give me
work on weekends. I always clarified to him that I can’t work in weekends. He
used to say “try”. But Monday morning during review sessions infront of my
team-mates he’d say “Ek kaam deta hoon who bhi nai hota aapse” .
I had never faced such person in my life
and I was clueless what to do. I had to undergo all this every day and I knew
it was nothing professional because he never treated others that way. He was
nice to them. Everybody else noticed the same. A friend said may be he wanted
to get laid with me.. maybe he actually did. I have seen such people.
When my current manager joined the company,
day 1 I was asked to give her an introduction of the brand. I wasn't even
prepared for it and I was going through a low-confidence phase. I stammered
throughout the session and he went on criticizing me in front of the
newly-joined lady. Thankfully, the lady
realized what’s going on and she became my savior. I learnt to speak up. Many
other women also spoke up as they faced the “ogling issue”. He still continued
bothering me. He even threatened me about my job indirectly which surprised me.
I couldn't take it anymore and I resigned. Luckily my boss was sensible enough
to understand my situation and helped me in every possible way.
Apparently he left for Singapore in few
weeks after the resignation incident.
During this evil person’s existence in my
life I became an anti-depressant addict as I couldn't sleep without them. He
haunted me. And he is one person I will never forgive. Writing down helps they
said. So I am writing them down.
The crime that these people commit leaves
no evidence behind and many girls suffer lie I did. It was my fault that I took
time in judging him. I should have had spoken up when those hours long meetings
got unbearable.
I thank my boss, my manager and my friends
who believed me and helped me recover from the traumatic phase.
But the incident shook me badly. I lost confidence on my work as he criticized anything I worked on. Every sentence I
wrote was wrong as per him. He never appreciated me. If I got appreciated by my
boss, he’d tell me later “there is nothing to be happy about it. You lack many
things”. So now when someone appreciates me I feel weird and uneasy. I have
stopped interacting with people. He took away the habit of socializing over
lunch from me. He killed a part of me. Step in my shoes… you will know.
